there were time i felt like quiting , there were times i felt like just running away from here. from this dread place called manipal. many pals kononnye.. my foot! ish~ okay enuf of being rude..
i seriously need a break la. really..i'm not joking. i need time to come to terms with my emotions, to clear my mind and to rearrange everything back into order..but, i juz don't have the time. my packed schedule of this ridiculous course i'm taking doesn't permit it. classes even on saturdays..i dunno how i even managed to put up with that for so long. if i knew, trust me, i wouldn't have chosen manipal. period. no holidays or more holidays when there should be, well call me a spoilt malaysian brat, i don't care. i want my holidays, i need my holidays! because without my holidays, i emo! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa =(
Monday, May 31, 2010
长痛不如短痛
sometimes, all i wanted u to say is " its over between us". at least 我会对你彻底的死心。dun wana hurt anymore..sigh
Sunday, May 30, 2010
i'm happy :D
its a really stupid reason. but it sure did mean a lot to me =) so who cares, thats it, i'm happy! wakaka
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
today....
results came out!! >.< but then, i did ok la. pass anatomy, and distinction for physiology and biochemistry. hehe i'm kinda happy wif my biochem actually, for the fact that i rushed it juz within 1 day. tho ngam ngam distinction ony but..its still distinction la :D well at least there is finally something to be happy about. motivated for now :)
Thursday, May 27, 2010
humans...
In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make..
another fact that applies to most of us. and i'm no exception lol
another fact that applies to most of us. and i'm no exception lol
Monday, May 24, 2010
from me to you~
when i was lonely,sad and lost,
you were there to give me the companionship i so desperately needed,
since then,
we became better,closer friends.
i'll never forget the time spent with you,
you're so much fun to be with,
and you're such a good person,
i see you more like a brother than a friend.
being a boy,
expressing emotions was never my kinda thing,
it was difficult ,
to show even the slightest appreciation, and gratitude towards you.
but something happened in the midst of temporal shift,
i changed,
since then things were different,
and i doubt it'll ever be the same again.
i never knew how much you meant to me,
until you walked away,
sadness was all i felt,
till this very day.
while you've been gone,
a part of me has been lost,
it's like i've taken our friendship for granted,
and now i'm paying the cost.
there are times i tried so hard to forget,
i know i must, in order to move on
but every attempt,
was an epic failure.
when i think about the relationship we once shared,
it was awesome, but we lost it,
its not possible for me,
not to care.
words can't describe how sorry i am,
or how regretful i felt,
nor can it describe,
how important you have become to me in such a short period of time.
i do not seek forgiveness nor acceptance,
for after what i did,
i know,
i do not deserve.
they say time heals a broken heart,
but time stood still since we've been apart,
i may mean nothing to you,
but you'll always be special to me.
i shall therefore, be satisfied,
that you must simply know,
just how I feel about you,
for with words I cannot show.
this is for you yew shiong, and just for you. you'll always b my dearest kor kor, no matter what that happens between us. for i owed you just too much , and i can never forget 你对我的恩情 =）
you were there to give me the companionship i so desperately needed,
since then,
we became better,closer friends.
i'll never forget the time spent with you,
you're so much fun to be with,
and you're such a good person,
i see you more like a brother than a friend.
being a boy,
expressing emotions was never my kinda thing,
it was difficult ,
to show even the slightest appreciation, and gratitude towards you.
but something happened in the midst of temporal shift,
i changed,
since then things were different,
and i doubt it'll ever be the same again.
i never knew how much you meant to me,
until you walked away,
sadness was all i felt,
till this very day.
while you've been gone,
a part of me has been lost,
it's like i've taken our friendship for granted,
and now i'm paying the cost.
there are times i tried so hard to forget,
i know i must, in order to move on
but every attempt,
was an epic failure.
when i think about the relationship we once shared,
it was awesome, but we lost it,
its not possible for me,
not to care.
words can't describe how sorry i am,
or how regretful i felt,
nor can it describe,
how important you have become to me in such a short period of time.
i do not seek forgiveness nor acceptance,
for after what i did,
i know,
i do not deserve.
they say time heals a broken heart,
but time stood still since we've been apart,
i may mean nothing to you,
but you'll always be special to me.
i shall therefore, be satisfied,
that you must simply know,
just how I feel about you,
for with words I cannot show.
this is for you yew shiong, and just for you. you'll always b my dearest kor kor, no matter what that happens between us. for i owed you just too much , and i can never forget 你对我的恩情 =）
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
you're not sorry...
All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around
I’ve been giving out chances everytime and all you do is let me down
And its taking me this long but baby I figured you out
And you think it will be fine again but not this time around
You don’t have to call anymore
I won’t pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don’t want to hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you’re sorry
But I won’t believe you baby like I did before
You’re not sorry no more, no more, no
Lookin’ so innocent
I might believe you if I didn’t know
Could’a loved you all my life
If you hadn’t left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I’m tired of being last to know
And now you’re asking me to listen
Cuz its worked each time before
But you don’t have to call anymore
I won’t pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don’t want to hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you’re sorry
But I don’t believe you baby like I did before
You’re not sorry no no no noo
You’re not sorry no no no noo
You had me calling for you honey
And it never would’ve gone away no
You use to shine so bright
But I watched our love it fade
So you don’t have to call anymore
I won’t pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There’s nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you’re sorry
But I won’t believe you baby like I did before
well not that it has anything to do wif love in my case. me n love, bo ngam la. hehehe ..try listening to this song, its very nice~
I’ve been giving out chances everytime and all you do is let me down
And its taking me this long but baby I figured you out
And you think it will be fine again but not this time around
You don’t have to call anymore
I won’t pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don’t want to hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you’re sorry
But I won’t believe you baby like I did before
You’re not sorry no more, no more, no
Lookin’ so innocent
I might believe you if I didn’t know
Could’a loved you all my life
If you hadn’t left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I’m tired of being last to know
And now you’re asking me to listen
Cuz its worked each time before
But you don’t have to call anymore
I won’t pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don’t want to hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you’re sorry
But I don’t believe you baby like I did before
You’re not sorry no no no noo
You’re not sorry no no no noo
You had me calling for you honey
And it never would’ve gone away no
You use to shine so bright
But I watched our love it fade
So you don’t have to call anymore
I won’t pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There’s nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you’re sorry
But I won’t believe you baby like I did before
well not that it has anything to do wif love in my case. me n love, bo ngam la. hehehe ..try listening to this song, its very nice~
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
i wished...
if i knew i would hurt you, i wished i never knew you. for hurting you hurts me more than it hurts you.
Monday, May 17, 2010
what i'll do
i'll make an effort, to solve my problems. i'll be bolder, more courageous, think less and be more optimistic. i won't keep the things i want to say for too long a time, i will say them when i want to. hesistance, i curse it. no longer will i let it be an obstacle any further. i had enough mental torture for the past few months, am not gonna go through those horible periods any more as long as i can help it.
and so, i'm gonna just say it, just do it, just go for it and let fate decide the rest. after all, alot of things are out of our control rite? all we can do is just put and effort and hope for things to get better. if it doesn't change anything, just try harder. if it still doesn't budge, then it isn't meant to be. its only rite to accept the inevitable, instead of constantly drifting with hope~ but all i can do now is initiate, be nice and hope for nothing in return. and really, i hope that it will all go back to the way it was few months ago.
and so, i'm gonna just say it, just do it, just go for it and let fate decide the rest. after all, alot of things are out of our control rite? all we can do is just put and effort and hope for things to get better. if it doesn't change anything, just try harder. if it still doesn't budge, then it isn't meant to be. its only rite to accept the inevitable, instead of constantly drifting with hope~ but all i can do now is initiate, be nice and hope for nothing in return. and really, i hope that it will all go back to the way it was few months ago.
Friday, May 14, 2010
when i was young.....
saw one of my friends blog, and it inspired me to write something about another thing that usually means a big deal to alot of ppl, including myself =)
okay, so the topic is friends. i remembered the time when i was a little kid, when someone is nice to me, i want to do something good in return for them. from then, we become friends :)
but, if i were older, like say, 18, i would have to be extra careful when someone is good to me, for then i know, i'm in debt. its only rite to seek out the chance to repay the others kindness, for its somewhat a common courtesy in our modern day society.
when i was young, when we share things with each other, and i mean just anything, or just a laugh, it is genuine. and real. since then, we became friends.
but now that i'm older, or rather, we, are older, we tend to laugh out loud so that everyone feels comfortable. from then, i think its a surface relationship as everyone is trying too hard.
when i was a kid, i made peace with everyone. whoever that are nice to me, i'm nice to them. i saw nothing but true friendship, without having thoughts that wether having this relationship will be beneficial ,as well as the absence of the thought of giving too much and receiving too little, or the thought of wether i will be accepted or rejected. i went on being who i am, no matter how imperfect i may be, i am me. you say u love me, i say i love you, be it if we say it to the same or the opposite sex, we mean it, and there won't be any problem about it.
when i'm older, i started setting rules for myself. rules that separates my circle of friends into best friends, normal friends, acquaintances and close friends. the rules that the society set up to dictate what it takes to be a friend. when a person of the same sex gets too close to us, we start having thoughts of wheter we or she maybe sexualy interested in us. we tend to interpret their intentions wrongly , even though when it may be just out of utmost care , or he/she just wants to be a better friend n be there by your side all the time, just in case you come out with any trouble.
if i were a kid, i wouldn't have known all this. and i would have love it that way.
and yes, little wei sern has got some experience himself. he and his close friend, can never be the same as before anymore, no matter how much he wants. even though now there isn't any more problems between them, yes, it will always be different. the good thing is, we are still friends, but the sad thing is , we are just normal friends. and yes, i have to live with that, even though the thought of it still strikes an intense feeling of sadness and regret within the heart of this boy. there was still hope when the problem still persist, but once it has been solved, only then u realise that u mean nothing to the other party. he/she doesn't give a damn about you. till then that u will realise that it was a mistake , to make someone your priority in live while you're still an option in theirs .
however, i will live with what i once had but lost because of what i have done, for i have no one to blame, except myself. but i still keep wondering, if u knew how much i cared about this bond we share, what would you do?
okay, so the topic is friends. i remembered the time when i was a little kid, when someone is nice to me, i want to do something good in return for them. from then, we become friends :)
but, if i were older, like say, 18, i would have to be extra careful when someone is good to me, for then i know, i'm in debt. its only rite to seek out the chance to repay the others kindness, for its somewhat a common courtesy in our modern day society.
when i was young, when we share things with each other, and i mean just anything, or just a laugh, it is genuine. and real. since then, we became friends.
but now that i'm older, or rather, we, are older, we tend to laugh out loud so that everyone feels comfortable. from then, i think its a surface relationship as everyone is trying too hard.
when i was a kid, i made peace with everyone. whoever that are nice to me, i'm nice to them. i saw nothing but true friendship, without having thoughts that wether having this relationship will be beneficial ,as well as the absence of the thought of giving too much and receiving too little, or the thought of wether i will be accepted or rejected. i went on being who i am, no matter how imperfect i may be, i am me. you say u love me, i say i love you, be it if we say it to the same or the opposite sex, we mean it, and there won't be any problem about it.
when i'm older, i started setting rules for myself. rules that separates my circle of friends into best friends, normal friends, acquaintances and close friends. the rules that the society set up to dictate what it takes to be a friend. when a person of the same sex gets too close to us, we start having thoughts of wheter we or she maybe sexualy interested in us. we tend to interpret their intentions wrongly , even though when it may be just out of utmost care , or he/she just wants to be a better friend n be there by your side all the time, just in case you come out with any trouble.
if i were a kid, i wouldn't have known all this. and i would have love it that way.
and yes, little wei sern has got some experience himself. he and his close friend, can never be the same as before anymore, no matter how much he wants. even though now there isn't any more problems between them, yes, it will always be different. the good thing is, we are still friends, but the sad thing is , we are just normal friends. and yes, i have to live with that, even though the thought of it still strikes an intense feeling of sadness and regret within the heart of this boy. there was still hope when the problem still persist, but once it has been solved, only then u realise that u mean nothing to the other party. he/she doesn't give a damn about you. till then that u will realise that it was a mistake , to make someone your priority in live while you're still an option in theirs .
however, i will live with what i once had but lost because of what i have done, for i have no one to blame, except myself. but i still keep wondering, if u knew how much i cared about this bond we share, what would you do?
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
meaningful! :D
apologizing; doesn’t always mean you’re wrong & the other person’s right. it means you value the relationship more than your ego. gosh i luv this quote =)
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
a tight slap to the face, ouch!
hallrites so it ain't bout getting slapped or anything. today was the anatomy exam, and i received a tamparan hebat. i screwed the bladdy paper. well maybe not so badly i, but i couldn't feel bad enuf for doing the parts in which i know i can answer wrongly. sigh..anatomy anatomy...u n i, v can nv be good friends lar..sigh..screw u essay paper. hmpph!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
its just sad, sometimes
i emo over u, u emo over me, but then, i dunno u emo over me, and u dunno i emo over u. so in the end, v got nowhere. if only i got some mind reading capabilities...hmmm...
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