Monday, May 16, 2011
i'm ok again :D
up and running and good to go~ blocks got postponed for another 2 days, hell yeah! more time to study~ nah, more like procrastinate. ah well, the most important things is, no more depression. credits to mr. tan wei lun for brainwashing me. gamsia gamsia~~ block 3, 我来也~~
Saturday, May 14, 2011
some ..well, thoughts~
Lately i've been having some really sudden mood swings.. maybe it's due to pre exam stress or it could be something else. this random thought just crossed my mind today.. i'm surprised how come i never gave it any considerations in the past, and y i have to do it now.. of all times, with exams and all, now? bad timing, really really bad.
i think that i am too simple minded. i can be so naive, and be so trustworthy towards someone that i just "recently" met. i guess i have no right to complain about ppl calling me a little kid, because i think exactly like one. its like, u give me a candy, and i'll think of u as the best person in the world.. get what i mean? i also realized that i tend to give more than what i receive most of the time.. i don't know whether its the way it should work but, i was taught to never expect anything in return for a deed or favor done . but recently i started wondering, for all the things i do for others, even if i don't mind not receiving much compared to what i gave or any at all, do the ppl rly appreciate what you do for them? many people only come to you if they need something for you, its human nature. and this triggered an even deeper question in me that keeps on whispering in my ears into my auditory center.. that is " how many of the many people in your life that you have will stand by you when you really needed a helping hand ? when you're really in need? when you're in trouble? " i couldn't give myself a definite answer. i stumbled then.. a moment there, i was silent and blank.
simply because things happening around me just isn't convincing at all. i don't want to mention any of these sensitive issues over here but yea, simply just ...not convincing at all, not even close.. so many things happened in just one short week.. and it takes just that few things to alter my perceptions towards my social life, which for once in my uni life, i thought of to be the best of both worlds. Reality is a bitch, and she bites hard. its her way of telling me to grow up and life isn't like what you read in fairytales, not all good beginnings lead to happy endings. i still have much much more to learn tho.. at the tender age of 20, i don't think i'm even close to understanding the mysterious workings of life. still have so much to learn.. being optimistic though. even when it seems more like trying to avoid the ugly truth then being the former.. oh and i seriously think i need to stop being so picky, or i'll never find a gf~ LOL
i think that i am too simple minded. i can be so naive, and be so trustworthy towards someone that i just "recently" met. i guess i have no right to complain about ppl calling me a little kid, because i think exactly like one. its like, u give me a candy, and i'll think of u as the best person in the world.. get what i mean? i also realized that i tend to give more than what i receive most of the time.. i don't know whether its the way it should work but, i was taught to never expect anything in return for a deed or favor done . but recently i started wondering, for all the things i do for others, even if i don't mind not receiving much compared to what i gave or any at all, do the ppl rly appreciate what you do for them? many people only come to you if they need something for you, its human nature. and this triggered an even deeper question in me that keeps on whispering in my ears into my auditory center.. that is " how many of the many people in your life that you have will stand by you when you really needed a helping hand ? when you're really in need? when you're in trouble? " i couldn't give myself a definite answer. i stumbled then.. a moment there, i was silent and blank.
simply because things happening around me just isn't convincing at all. i don't want to mention any of these sensitive issues over here but yea, simply just ...not convincing at all, not even close.. so many things happened in just one short week.. and it takes just that few things to alter my perceptions towards my social life, which for once in my uni life, i thought of to be the best of both worlds. Reality is a bitch, and she bites hard. its her way of telling me to grow up and life isn't like what you read in fairytales, not all good beginnings lead to happy endings. i still have much much more to learn tho.. at the tender age of 20, i don't think i'm even close to understanding the mysterious workings of life. still have so much to learn.. being optimistic though. even when it seems more like trying to avoid the ugly truth then being the former.. oh and i seriously think i need to stop being so picky, or i'll never find a gf~ LOL
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