direct translation means disaster =)

ahahahah man this is what happen when u translate something dierectly from one language to another. but i gotta say, that's the specialty of msia =)


Hardware = Barang keras
Software = Barang lembut
Joystick = Batang gembira
Plug and play = Cucuk dan main
Port = Lubang
Server = Pelayan
Client = Pelanggan

–

Try translating this :

English :
That server gives a plug and play service to the client using either hardware or software joystick. The joystick goes into the port of the client.

Now, in BM :
Pelayan intu memberi pelanggannya layanan cucuk dan main dengan menggunankan batang gembira jenis keras atau lembut. Batang gembira itu akan dimasukkan ke dalam lubang pelanggan.

Not AgAIn!!

isshhh!!! i slept too much again!! set my alarm to ring at 7.30am, and guess what? woke up at 9!! walau A... really wu yao ke jiu le..if it weren't because of yee fu's surprise call, i'd still be comatized LOL ahaha thnx gurl. enjoyed the talk with you, verily. =) and thnx for being my alarm ahahaha
hmmm, so today's plan is to draw all the possible relationships of structures in the neck portion. trying to do as much as i can, occupy my myself so that i don't have time to emo XD tho i can still somehow find time to do so, even at such a desperate situation. i'm juz too talented for that i guess hehehe can get distinction for emoing with my eyes closed =P
so erm, not much today really..gonna take a short nap later, for an hour or so, then contine studying. CNY!!! ohh the ang pau, the cash, the food $_$ seriously gonna put on a lot of festive weight during that time, and come back to manipal as a fatty =) muhahaha i'll lose em all in manipal anyway, so no biggie =) omg what is this?? festive mood pls go away!! this is not the time to be in happy mode. study larhh!!!

GTG. adiues

25 random thingzzzz

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you!


tagged by a friend of mine, hmmmmm so here goes

1)my name is wei sern =) 19 years old. ppl call me sern sern, apple zai, wei wei, sern wei lee,wai san, wilson,shui bian, zhen mei li, porcupine, or worse, strawberry =O

2) manipal makes me emo

3)my ideal gurl = smart, don't have to be drop dead gorgeous, great personality, acceptable length and width

4)i hate wearing formal, thats y i always break the dress code, wherenever i can =)ahh jeans, luv em

5)shophaholic =)

6)night owl @@

7) i don't like veggies

8)i share secrets only with ppl that i really trust, so if i do, means u mean something to me =)

9) i like the fact that ppl still thinks that i'm in high sch, tho i'm already in university

10)i daydream about mousehunt during lectures =X

11)i'm afraid of cockroaches

12)i mix better with gals

13)i use sunsilk , the pink one

14)i sing alot, to meself

15)nothing annoys me more than a middle man trying to solve a conflict between 2 ppl, i call them kepos =X

16)i always wanted an older brother

17)i'm a dog person

18)strongly believes in karma, what goes around comes around

19)i tend to cross my leg alot without realising it

20) i don't believe in god, but a higher intelligence which commands all the strange workings of life

21)i tend to avoid ppl that i feel uncomfortable with

22)don't believe in love at 1st sight

23)i prefer being in a small group, with few good friends =)

24)single and available =)

25) i spent too much time on this note =.=

3 down, 4 more to go =)

after the disastrous physio pracs, histo pracs and anat spotters, finally we're down to the "boss", the 3 main papers which will determine our fate in the subject. ooo nervous nervous, so scary LOL ahaha..anyway, nxt week i'll be going back home =) miss my buddies and family loads, gonna give u guys big big hugs when i get back, dun run away k ^^
anat spotters was well, disastrous, but i think i didn't do that badly. should be able to get within the range of 75 - 80 for the paper la. damn cha rite? i know i know.
anyway, now i gotta focus on the big 3, i kenot lose to other ppl. no no no!

hence, back to studying. ciaoz =)

half day wasted =(

aarrgghhh i can't believe it!! i slept for 11 hours today!! omg my biological clock has seriously gone haywire. i slept at 7.30am , woke up at 6pm!! wtf?? now i really agree, slp = die XD gosh so much to read up, yet so little time. my alarm was of no use to me. i seem to have developed an immunity to it. this is bad >.<
its 5.20am now, and i have dissection class later at 8am, the last revision class b4 i face the spotters at 1.30pm. hopefully mr raghu would give tips, like he said he would. i don't wanna fail now do i? all the best to all my other batchmates: ah shiong, carol, wei lun, GS, ms boh, fun fun, jia jia, acid, rowy, sin yin, kai lin etc aahaha too many liaw, can't list all . we'll all do well, i'm sure of it =)

gtg go study again. running outta time. ciaoz

a good start =)

ahahahahaha today's physiology viva wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. james's a nice guy, he even asked me not to be tensed. when answering his questions, i must say its way easier compared to when it is jay who is asking. whoa tat fella, just smile a lil bit, my brain go haywire :\ my GIT and respiration portion he said good la, but cardiovascular system, well, i sorta didn't do so well ya know. gave wrong values , and didn't know how to explain about the ventricular potential...haih...but overall, he said good la. =) hehe sometimes a lil praise is needed, it adds to your self confidence, don't ya agree? hehehehe
today's anat dissection was also quite fruitful le. i managed to finally c the azygous and hemiazygous vein @_@. and also a handful of nerves and arteries. waahh anat spotters!! tense tense !!! ahahah but then, i know i won't do too badly la. i'm nt a bad student now am i? wakakaka

ok, now for a lil portion from the emo-half of me. today, waahh, i'm damn cold and cool le. i literally ignored certain ppl, even got c oso pretend didn't c. omg!! y am i doing this la? =S haih..even i oso duno. weird rite? haih, duno la. watever it is, its nt important, at least for now it isn't.
oh ya..i finally have another person for me to "hate" in my batch. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee what an achievement XD okay, that wasn't funny :\ ok back to the point, this person, "S", wah damn annoying le wei.for the past 2 months, this "s" has been always so bossy, so bitchy, so busy body, noisy and selfish. ishh ishh ishh can't take it anymore. well, at least i know a lot of ppl oso dun like this "S" la .hehehehe. well what to do? "S" brought this on to itself, can't blame anyone.

well, that's all for now. gotta go for dinner. c ya folks !! =) adieus

underachievements =X

yeh underachievements. thats the topic for today. as far as i can tell, i haven't been at my full potential in my academic performance during my time here in manipal for the past 5 months. i'd say, i've been taking life too easily, play too much, study too little. ahhh mostly course i'm bored, that's y. always seeking entertaiment, like back home, whr ya can actually talk on the phone with friends for hours, watching astro etc. while here, well, u have nothing, except your lappy.and trust me guys, the lappy is seriously your best friend as well as your worst enemy, it can give u entertaiments yes, but it also distracts you from doing what your're suppose to do during crucial situations , say, exam period? aahhhh i curse the day i opened my fb account. i gotta say, my life would have been much worth living without it.
oh yea, back to underachievements, knowing myself, getting distinction for physiology, anatomy and biochemistry really isn't a problem, well, if i'm willing to put more effort and commitment into it,in which i sadly lack. todays histo spotters , was well, not too bad but not too good either. i screwed 1 question in which i could have done well, the palatine tonsil. sigh...went and put thymus even tho i saw the stratified squamous nonkeratinized epithelium..couldn't help feeling bad for that. =\ viva was ok tho. only part i screwed was the nerve supply of the temporalis. i think i did quite ok for tat , so no biggie =)
but nw, my biggest worries is no longer anatomy, but physiology and biochemistry. biochem i think i can still manage, last minute studying can still work , but my physiology, haih.... blurr ony. well , i did have the "best" lecturers in this block, can't blame myself entirely for that rite? ahaha..but then, to get good grades, if it is to be, it is up to me. 2mr's viva , i duno la. i think gg liaw.
wah, i feel like my grades are so sucky. completely terbalik fo what i'm capable of getting. sad la... i just hope that i don't fail my physiology paper this block, otherwise i can never forgive myself. ahahaha most ppl who knows me well enuf will be like" what the fuck? u?! failing? " no way!! =\. but well , this time it might happen. just might...hopefully it doesn't. i cannot afford to dissapoint my parents, and especially my own self esteem and egotism. wake up sern sern!! be a nerd!! its your only solution now.

S.C.R.E.W.E.D

the title says it all..i screwed my physio pracs. not that its unexpected or anything, i just couldn't hate myself more for slping when i had the chance to at least do some last minute rushing, sigh..instead i slept for 2 hours...2 hours!!! wth!? seriously wei, whr got ppl so calm and got time to slp even when knowing got so much to read up? haiyo, i muz get rid of this bad habit la, otherwise my block exam guarantee gg liaw la.
urgghh, all these days, its all drawing diagrams and nothing less. the diagrams for anatomy and physiology...fuyoh!! insane i tell u >.< i draw until i'm at the verge of going mad, or u can say tht i'm already mad, since i don't plan to slp for the day. gonna stay up till morning and go straight for the sdl topic test =) i know i'm mad, but no choice la, either do or die, desperate times call for desperate measures. i just hope that the effort pays off in the end :\
i think i dun wana do last minute study anymore..its putting the strain on my mind and vitality, and i can't concentrate during lectures, always feeling sleepy..*yawns* pimple pun banyak >.< better learn my lesson now, i dun wana go through tis again. nonononono!!! but for now, no choice la. i only have myself to blame. :(
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, kenot already, block 3 muz do consistent studying. no more hours in front of the computer >.< if not, dun say about distinction, wana pass ony difficult >.< but then, i oso kiasu la. at least this has been keeping me going for the past few months. so in a way, its good LOL

thats all for now. gotta cont. studying . arghh!!!

finally do i realise my priority....

finally after spilling quite some stuff to my friend yesterday, i have finally managed to overwhelm my emoness and regain my consciousness. i guess i should have just spilled them earlier instead of keeping them in this tiny brain of mine XD oh silly me. hehehehe
i came here to study, to become a doctor, and i should do just that. nothing really matters anymore compard to this. studies comes 1st, and it always will be. so what if i'm alone? i can survive, and i will survive throughout this 2.5 years in india. nothing is impossible , all u need is a lil faith and optimisticity. and of course, a lil moral support from a few good friends. =) to those who woke me up from my endless emoness, i thank you, from the very bottom of my heart ^^

block exams!!! i shall thriumph.. die!!! it hitting the books again in the library. not gonna be online very often. infact, might not even sign in into msn for the nxt 2 weeks. but i still cannot completely ignore my mousehunt(ahh the addiction!!) let it be a start of a fruitful intensive studying. jia you!! add oil!! tambah minyak!! sern sern, u can do it!!

my current craze XD

LEAVE OUT ALL THE REST



I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared

After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
[End Chorus]

Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what I made

I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
[End Chorus]

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are





damn i luv this song. it sorta reflects what i'm facing now...

we were meant to be much more than this....

i think of the times u talked to me, i think of the times u treat me nicely. i think of the times we have heart to heart talk and hide nothing from each other.i think of the times when we used to hang out and laughed our lungs out at the lame jokes we make. i am not asking for worship nor praise, for i am just a mere mortal and have achieved nothing great in life. all i ever wanted is compassion and pure friendship , and is that too much to ask for?
y r v undergoing this process of gradual separation? it is like the electromyogram after administration of acetylcholine or potassium ions, eventually it will approach a straight line with zero amplitude. y is it i find it harder and harder to talk to u each time i saw you? now it has even come to a point where i would just pretend that i never noticed you if i so happen to just pass by. what is happening between us? we're running out of similarities, and the difference between us just piles up everyday. is it my fault to begin with? bcause u were my friend, one that i regard as someone special, whatever u told me, i listened. but then, u weren't thr when i needed someone to talk to.
i feel like thrash, a ragged doll that you play with only when u feel like it or when u need something from me. otherwise, you would just leave me be, only coming back if u need something again. and i don't think that you ever realised that, and you never will. maybe i expected too much from you, knowing how biased and selfish u can be at times. tell me, is this what a friend should do? honestly, you're one of the few good friends that i have, and i duno what to do now. block exams are coming, paired with this , i'm in one of my most vulnerable state of mind. i feel helpless and vague. seriously, i'm at a dead end.

sometimes, its better to make clear of our feelings

its true you know. after some thought, i think it is better for us to juz let go of our emotions when we feel like it. it doesn't just do us good, it may even alert the ppl around you that something is wrong. some problems are meant for us to face together ,not alone. some of us, like myself, tend to want to do everything by ourselves, and refuse to involve anyone else in our fucking problems, simply coz we don't want to cause trouble to others, or we juz feel weird to involve people in our problems that are totally none of their concern. this assumption, well, they are right, but at times, they may be wrong. straight to the point, assumptions are the thorns of relationships. however, there will still be people around us who cares about us, its just that we don't feel it. and seriously, it is not worth at all to change ourselves just to satisfy other ppl's comments. it is extremely sad and pathetic to do so and i think none of us should ever do this. juz be yourself and be happy. if the other people can't handle you, its their problem, not yours. if they gossip bout you, pity them, as they forgot to analyse their own degree of lameness b4 they start commenting on u =) be happy too, at least u manage to waste some of their precious time on something so insignificant. the main point is, we should retain our dignity, no matter how different or rejected we feel
friends...i duno y but..most of us tend to take our good friends for granted. its like, when u rly wana make out with this particular person, u do so many things to build that special bond between u n him/her. however, once that bond is established, we tend to not pay so much attention to it anymore, and go on seeking new ones. and the sad part is, while the bond is slowly weakening, we don't realise it. only until when we do, it's already too late. only then do we regret for the actions not taken , and the lack of awareness of what's going on around us. i guess, we just don't realise how much a paerticular bond really means to us until it is severed or broken. *sighes* there are many different kind of friends. there are the kinds who just hang out with you coz they think ur cool, those that comes close to you because they want something from you, those that hang around with you coz they feel lonely and those who are with you ,accepts and like the way u are, even thought you're just another failed experiment conducted by the higher intelligence. the 1st and 2nd type, we don't need them and we're better off without them. personally , i like the 4th type, thought the number of friends that i have categorised into that group can be counted with just less than 5 fingers. *sighs* where is the love these days? LOL
its a miracles, how 2 ppl who are complete strangers to each other, come together and become the best of friends, its depressing to c u and your best friend become complete strangers. just 1 thing la. everything in our lives, especially the relationships that we are currently having, or about to have in the future, everthing has been arranged. sometimes to become the best of friends, al u need is juz one word, according to my dear pal wen mei, is "yuan", which means fate in chinese. even gf and bf, those who have been together for ages, say, 8 years? is still capable of breaking up. simply because , thr is no "yuan " present between them. so, "yuan" is actually one of the main selection pressure which is out of our hands in this case. relationships cannot be forced,it is jut meant to go with the flow, running parallel to fate. if we try to go against it, lotsa complications will arise, just like upseting the balance of nature. when it comes to the relationships that you yearn for , it is not wrong to try, but it is better for us to give up if we realise that it will never work out, instead of straining our mental strength and endurance, causing us unecessary emotional pain and suffering that we can avoid, but in the end succumbed into because of our stubborness.
and also, i realised that it is better to have a wider range of friends, instead of just sticking to one particular group. people can change overtime and you can't be certain that a gang of friends will remain and stay together as a group forever. at least that i have other groups of friends, i dun feel as bad as last time, whr i only hang out with 1 particular group, in which i couldn't blend in very well. haih...no "yuan" ar..sad...thr will always be problems ,sooner or later, as even siblings who share almost the same DNA tend to quarrel among themselves, what more when it comes to friends? but in certain cases, we tend to become closer to our friends other than to our own brothers and sisters, and also to our parents. in fact, i feel that some friends actually makes better brothers or sisters than our vry own siblings . bwahahahaha sad isn't it? lol..its nt entirely true, but yet, u can't deny the legitimacy of this statement completely. so, think about it =)

keep moving on...

Its has been almost 4 months since we've all been in manipal. how many days to be exact, well, i'm not sure lols. many things has happened within this long yet so short period of time, and i have experienced joy and pain simultaneously while time teleports its way from september to january in just a blink of an eye. frankly, i still can't believe that it has already been 4 whole months, as the memory of the 1st day in manipal is still fresh in my mind.
ahh the life of a doctor..stable job, not so high income(lols), post graduation, promotion, specialist , surgeon..etc...well, it ain't that bad... but most importantly, the joy of helping ppl. but...is this what i always wanted to do? is this my true purpose in life? is this rly the right path for me? don't ask me, i duno. LOL..in the end, its not a bad occupation. tho it requires much dedication and an insane amount of time, the outcome is always worth it. the feeling of satisfaction when u see the loved one of the patients, shedding tears of joy when he/she has recovered, though i've yet to experience it, is rly something in which i'm looking forward to in my medical career.but deep down inside, Maybe what I really want is just a simple life, with fun, laughter, lots of travelling, and love. Just Maybe, but, it's not a choice, I can only dream.
now that i've just thought about it, i realised that my batch of 143 students is rly a big class @@. i've never been in such huge class before, largest being my primary school class, in which there was only a mere 51 of us little brats. personally, i actually prefer to be in a small class, that's when u'll get to know the people well ,u find more opporturnity to talk to them, and the bonding begins , and yes, the route and time in which is needed to develop from the level of aquaintances to best frenz( good friends at least) will not be as time consuming and difficult as it is in a large batch liek batch 25...sigh..i envy the BDS students.. i've heard of how close they have become with each other. all 21 of them( or is it 22, or 23?) u can say tat, this is one of the main criteria i wana fullfill throughout my tertiary educations, of course, our main goal is to study while in university, BFFs just come as an extra bonus, but to me, it is just as important as my academic performance.
for starters, many people might find me cold and heartless. i understand la, i've got some feedback, my face can be rly masam and emotionless, with a slight punch of arrogance, ignorance and unfriendliness. i do admit, i can be extremely antisocial when i want to, but the sole reason of me being like that is the unbeareable feeling of being left out. oh people, if only you know the real me. i'm not difficult to fathom, no i'm not. i just don't want to be left alone. :( tho i'm used to it, but i don't like it. sometimes it seems like i'm isolating myself from all of u, but, in doing so , i have my reasons. i'm not being unfriendly or cold, it just comes and go. i don't talk because i have nothing better to say, since my lame jokes clearly isn't up to par with wat u guys are capable of dishing out. as time goes by, i feel that i'm drifting further and further away from you. if left untendered, it will come to a point where this fear will become reality. i've though of repairing the bond between us, but the fear of the possiblity of making it worse prevented me from doing what's right. darn, y can't i just have a lil more faith in myself? >.< even thought i know u've been gossiping bout me, i don't care. so what, its just a moment of adrenaline rush, even i do it sometimes =X but in the end, just because i appear cold and bermuka masam all the time, doesn't mean that i'm having any grudges or hatred towards any of you. its just a part of who i am, the way i act when i'm feeling depressed and down. just because i turn down an invitation the 1st time, or the 2nd, doesn't mean that i'll turn down the 3rd. juz because i'm silent, doesn't mean i'm ignorant. just because i'm isolating myself, that doesn't mean i don't enjoy your company. i like to talk, but sometimes i juz have nothing better to say except smile and keeping quiet:(just bcause i'm not talking to you, ignoring u even when i happened to c u,or not saying "hey r u feeling allright?" even when i know u're going through a hard time, that doesn't mean that i don't care. in fact, i do care, alot =( i just, couldn't force myself to initiate the 1st action. but frankly speaking , how many of us will say "no i'm not ok, i'm feeling so fucked up right now" and things like that? + 1 over here to the typical " oh no, i'm fine, nothing's wrong =) " response. we all have this egoism inside of us, being afraid of being looked down by our peers, we're uptight and too afraid to reveal our emotions. hence , we tend to suffer ourselves, engulfed by sadness , sorrow and negligence. and finally, sighs..we lose control over everything. and that is when, things start to go very wrong =S its not a secret anymore. i may seem cold, but i'm not, i may seem emotionally strong , but i'm not. i may seem to enjoy solitary life, but in fact, i don't . so there you have it. that's the truth. every single bit of it. this is the kind of person that i am. can't accept it? too bad then

oh noes!!!! i failed to wake up, again...

sigh....yet another anatomy disection class missed...i'm so dead..,maybe i should rly keep the phone far away from me, or else i'll juz hit the *remove alarm button* and go back to slp. omg!!! this can't go on like this. no no no no !!! >.<

left out, as usual, and always will be

i've been thinking to myself, why do i always act cheerful , even when i'm not? y am i always so afraid of letting people around me know that i'm feeling the way i'm feeling now?when i feel left out, y can't 1 juz stand up and say" hey y r u guys ignoring me n not involving me in anything that u do?" perhaps, i'm just worried of being looked down at, but deep down inside, i know its something else, but i can't find the right words to describe it.

so wei sern dear, don't you think its hurtful and foolish to go through this chilling pain alone? don't you think that you should just cut out all connections ,going for classes, then locking yourself in the room, building bricks by boring bricks all around, juz to keep the people away from you? the fact is, you really didn't need them anyway. they never gave a damn about you, they don't care , and they're happy without you being around them. whether if you're with them or not, it doesn't make a difference. so the question is, why do you care about these people ? y r u so stubborn, so foolish , so ignorant and refuse to let go? y r u still believing that one day, you might be accepted and cherished like the others, and feel belonged? y r u so desperate for the relationships, that u yourself know well enough, that the chances for it to ever blossom, is like finding a needle after throwing it into the deep blue sea? get a grip dude. just leave them and suck it up on your own. you're better off that way :\

the thing is , i have no one to turn to in india. because it just, sighs....its just me. i've always been alone, just that no one knows, or bothers. nevertheless, i'll be fine. i've always been. ahhhh y am i so emotionally unstable? so, i'm all alone , and yea, nobody cares.

the people that doesn't care, they're always around, while those who do, they are either separated from me by continents, and may not always be available , due to different time zone, or, too few in numbers. and yes wei sern, y do u even bother to let the people who doesn't care about you know your fucking emo probs? don't you know that they will end up thinking ill of you? even you yourself think of that about some people who you yourself took for granted, and now you're doing the same thing. and yet you never let the people who truly care about you know every single shit that you're going through? y r u still in the stage of denial? y r u still so delusional,naive n immature? and you're so stupid, that you're unable to differentiate who cares and who don't. y do u think so highly of the people who don't give a shit about you, and take those who are your true friends for granted? you have such a fucked up life, u know that don't you?

you stupid kid, u never learn. u will end up doing the whole thing over and over again, even after your university life, u will repeat in in your working life.its like sin in final fantasy 10, it is a never ending cycle. all u do is juz involve the wrong people in your life, and hurt all those who means much more to you. you gave to suffer yourself, you have no one to blame, except yourself. so live with it.

nobody cares.

nobody

blocks are coming...2 more weeks, OMG!!!

The dreaded exams are drawing nearer and nearer,day by day, every minute, every second. i've yet to finish my histology drawings, guess am gonna copy from one of the malay gals from table 6 disection table 2mr . =S hahahahahaha drawing juz ain't my cup of tea :)
i was sleeping like a pig the whole day . slpet at 5am, woke up at 12pm, slept again till 2.30, then was chaterring away with my friend for the nxt few hours. to summarize everything, i didn't manage to do any revisions( and yea exams r near) for today. haiz..seriously i need to attend some time management course to counteract this procrastinating attitude of mine. oh well, i did managed ot finally watch orphan. i know its kinda old , but i'm happy to finally getting to watch =)straight to the point, the movie's great ^^ the storyline, the plot, the actings put up by the actors n actresses, my thumbs up to them. but somehow, i don't find it to be as scary as the others said. maybe its because i watched too many horror and thriller movies, making me now sort of immune to the violence in the show. ah well. at least i know i won't be getting bad dreams tonight =)

mondays, monday..gah i hate mondays! simply because its after a weekend, and the fact that i don't get holidays on saturdays, i'm reluctant to go to classes on mondays. and there is histology, more drawings coming up. urgghhh..thankfully i'll be the 1st batch to go tomorrow, it starts at 3pm, so i'll probably be back in my room by 4pm. its hitting the books again , but this time i guess i should really try locking up myself in the library. at the very least, i can isolate myself from my beloved lappy =) no mousehunt and ghost trappers for few hours will definitely do me good ^^ i guess desperate times call for desperate measures. for the sake of my future, mh n gt will juz have to be ignored, at least for a few hours :) aaawww can't stop the addiction lols

2mr is wei lun's birthday! awwww dear mr chaurasia, happy 21st birthday. =) everyone did their part in making this the best birthday u'll ever had in india, i'm sure u'll be extremely delighted and touched of u knew what the others had in store for you :)) not saying, u're gonna have to experience the whole thing personally =)lucky guy , u're blessed to have such great friends, cherish them always k ^^

i'm getting sleepy, guess i'll stop here for now . bye =)

E.M.O

pfffff...it has been real hectic these few days. all of a sudden i realised the lecturers are pumping lotsa new info into our brainz(arghhh too much for my small otak >.<). i guess having too many holidays does have its down side :\ haih..haven't doen much revisions myself , i practically ignored the respiratory and GI tract portion of my physiology. JAYPREE's teaching style juz dun cut , get it? dear me i rly wish i wun get any lecturers like them in in my 3rd block. hahaha they should be like sharmila la, give complete notes. i happy, i get good grades , u oso happy rite? u get the fame, whats thr to lose anyway? bwahahaha. looks like i'm gonna be spending the rest of my nxt few weeks in the library, apart from getting to study a lil bit, i can isolate myself from my best fren, who is also my worst enemy : the laptop XD

these few days, i haven'y been talking to the ppl i normally hang out with, mainly is becoz my seat is so far away from theirs, and thr's nobody that is willing to switch( haven't tried it, but it won't work anyway)oh well, guess it'll stay that way , maybe till the 3rd block. haih..y my roll number so at the back de? geramnye..ishhhh...so feeling like strangling sheila rite now, or i can black mail the dean into changing my seat and roll number =) wakakaka* evil laughes*
but then, i memang pun dun talk to them much anyway. actually feel kinda weird when i'm with them. like thr is an invisible wall between us. all the time, the conversation is being dominated by carol, ys n GS..ah well, sometimes nak cakap pun rasa akward le...can't help feeling stupid whenever they're around..their convo just indirectly leaves u out you know? duno how tat happened, but it occurs very frequently. topic not suitable i guess =S can say that this is the main reason y i always isolate myself for the past 2 months.i dun join them for lunch , or even after class snacking or juice drinking time. ah well, they never asked me anyway =S so just go and join them without being asked to u say? no thank you. even if i'm desperate, i will not venture to the point that i will put my own dignity and maruah diri at stake. too ego =P but thats juz me la
dun get me wrong tho, i like being with them , having their company and all is rly great. but the reason mentioned above is drawing me further and further away from them. i can feel it and i juz know it. its not their prob rly, its my own, and i'll either have to change my way of life, or i'll juz be like this for the years to come. some ppl like to be alone, while some don't. i hate being alone, and yet i'm used to being solitary. and to summarize it all, i nv rly felt i was a part of the gang :\ we do things 2gether( well sometimes) ,hang out together and all, but yea, thats the impression i have. i dun share the feeling of closeness i can see between (for example), ys with yf and carol, gs with wei lun , juz to name a few. hmmmm, maybe i should be a lil more hentai, mayb that'll work. ahahahahaha
i'm actually sorta envious of yf, in the sense tat she, joining the group in late november, managed to become so close with the others @_@ i guess having good social skills is a gift , n kenot be acquired through conventional means.lucky gurl.. ahh bummer. *sighs* and y is it that the others can tell that jia jia feels left out, and yet they can't tell that i'm feeling the same way? hopefully its because i think too much :\ in the end, i keep my distance from ppl , bcoz i feel weird if i bother a person too often, kinda like a stalker ya know, and yea it can be very annoying to others. honestly, even i won't like it XD fortunately i managed to develop self control over this matter ,in the sense that i can hold back not interacting with a particular person, even though deep down, i wanted to =P i guess its better for them to think of me as cold and cool, rather than annoying :S but acting the way i am now, has caused me to lose much more than i have gained so far...truly out of what i have expected, the level of negative impact is off the scale .I admit being in a lot of emotional pain. A pain derived from certain incidents in life. This pain though frequent, is always unexpected. I have made progress in getting over it. But at its core lay a fundamental impulse that cannot be ignored. To the extent of denying my humanity if I choose to rid myself of it. it is time to realise that it is not meant to be, it is time to realise that dreams will forever be a separate entity from reality. life is 1 big conspirary, ready to take u down when u r in ur most vulnerable state. i'm tired of pretending, tired of faking, tired of dishing out fake smiles to hide my true emotions. egoism, i curse its existense. emotions, i condemn it.

sigh....tired tired :(

Juz had the 2nd anat test today, at least i can say it wasn't as bad as the 1st 1. :\ and thr's physiology PBL later at 10.30am. haiz..duno la. ganong got too many info like related to the hypoxic hypoxia topic, rly confused on what i should or should not read. oh well...back to studying =D

CRAZY!! we're CraZy XD

i think my gang of 11 including myself is the craziest among all the others in batch 25. u know y? v didn't have holiday for new year( yea sux huh? my 1st ever experience without a holiday during new year, sobs sobs)so , v decided to go to turtle bay for a good relaxation period and of course, celebrate new year ^^ we left at bout 12.30pm, coz we were waiting for some others among us who went to church for some programme, nevertheless that didn't stop us form reaching our destination. reached thr after bout 1 n a half hour drive, i didn't slp throughout th whole journey, tho i nearly did. the gals( sharolyn, jia jia, yoke fun n miss boh) all dropeed dead in the car. ah shiong nyaris nyaris tertidur, but didn't la in the end. ( pity him, he muz hav been damn bored during tat 1.5 hours drive :\)
then we reached our destination at bout 2 am i think, i , as always, budak nakal, ran around the beach until out of the sight of the others. luckily didn't get lost la( actually quite impossible to get lost oso, unless u have night blindness la >.<) after some running around and emoing near the sea, v played mafia war. this game is simple, the more the merrier, there will be 2 mafias, 1 doctor ,1 spy and the other are the villagers. 11 ofus playing, it was quite easy to guess who is the mafia la, but mafia won twice out of 5 times XD miss boh n wei lun memang scary, after tat day, i dare not trust them completely liaw. miss boh rly pandai berlakon, until i rly tot she was innocent and lost the game, haih... naive me XD i got to be the spy twice n the mafia once, but then i think i suck to the max, as a spy i oways chose the wrong person, n as the mafia i got eliminated quick enuf..haih..noob..wat to do? XD
any way, after tat, we played fireworks. carol, ys, gim shieng n wei lun bought quite alof of fireworks, so we main main until gila, not to mention polluting the sea as well( all the rocket fireworks were aimed at the sea) and we also played some of those biasa ones like we used to play when we were kids. gotta say it was one fun night. then , some indian locals came n sorta interuppted our enjoyment. rly felt liek chasing them away, but atlas, still didn't do anything bout it la, takut mereka rompak us >.< or even worse , *ahem ahem* XDXD thankfully they left after sometime, n we continued playing. finally it was the time to set alight the main attraction, the largest firework, and i had the honor to light it up ^^ and of course, it was a magnificent sight to behold, after all , thr's no meaning to a new year celebration without fireworkz rite? =) and then. we had camwhoring session :)) jasmine took lotsa pics, tho i dun think i can show any here until she uploads them on to fb XD
n so we main n main n main, n finally its 6am, so v hit the road n headed back to manipal. it was boring in my car, as everyone else was slping , sighhh... i couldn't escape the same fate,n dozed off... reached back manipal at 7.15 am, lotsa us say wanted ot go for anat disection at 8 am, so i oso say go lo. mana tahu, i saw my bed, n said to myself ( nvm,,,slp awhile ony, can wake up de) , n omggggg, i woke up at 2.30pm!! >.< i missed dsection, and the anat theory class, i'm so dead. but luckily at least i went for physio practicals , so it wasn't tat bad . but un the end i got to know ony 5 of us went for the anat disection( wei lun, boh, mr woo, sharolyn n jasmine) , the rest of us were comatised in our rooms.i think me n carol was the worst, both of us woke up at 2.30, tho she's a lil later than me XDXD anyway, i felt rly guilty for waking up so late, missed 3 classes liaw..haih.. but then, the night we spent together seem to make missing the 3 classes worth it. i duno bout the others, but it sure does mean a lot to me =) once ur far away from home, ur frenz are your family , tho i dun feel close to any one of them yet, but i'm sure it'll work out eventually, given that we have another 4 yrs n many months 2gether.most of them r like my kor kor n jie jie la,especially yew shiong, n they're all very very nice ppl =) its been a blessing to hav met them here i muz say, their company n all has actually make my life in india not so sucky as i tot it would be.so guys, u hav my utmos gratitude from the very bottom of my heart and there will always be a special spot in my heart sumwhr for u all ..ewww so geli!!!!! n i have finally decided, i will cont. my stay in manipal n give up on monash. tho it has always been my dream uni n will feel a bit wasted,but when u think bout it, it rly doesn't make much difference, both r MBBS degree, ony difference is tat monash degree , v can go to australia for internship, but yet we're not guaranteed a place. india de degree, oso not bad la actually, can still go australia, but hav to sit for the AMC board exam. haha but then i'm a smart kid, i'm sure i can conquer it ( prasaning) *blushes*, as long as i overcome this enemy called laziness within me.but the main catch is, monash is near to home la, so i can go bek every week :\ good for mummy's boy like me la, but then. if tats the case, i dun think i will be able to learn how to live independently on my own n away from my family. so in this case, i think studying in india has helped me to adjust to life without my family always being by my side. XD besides, papa earn $$ very hard la, use up another 200k from him, i rly can't force myslf to do it, summore my sister oso planning to study medic( v dun hav a choice actually:\), omggg mahal!!! >.< 3 adik beradik will end up in manipal without a doubt hahaha, coz we're smart ppl ( evil laughes* , but i'm lazy la compared to them >.< even tho i'm the one with the best academic performance all these years( yea yea i'm boasting, kekeke) i'm definitely the laziest. sad but true..haih

thats all for today ~~~