oh hello thr~

its been a solid 2 months since i last touched this personal blog of mine. i guess the block 3, 4 and uni exam rly did take up alot of my time, or it may be just that i don't have any emo stuffs to share as of lately. which is a good thing :D haha emo period pass edi la, still left 3 more practical papers to go and its home for me XD hmm still worry about the glove issue :( imma gonna screw up during the osce so badly if i dun practice wearing it. lame i know, but thats d way it is >.< who knew one pair of gloves could cause so much worries?
hmmm..another thing.. these few days i began having one of those random thoughts running about in my head. spontaneous indeed. well, its about LOVE. i must say that among my current peers, i am in the minority group. yes, one without gf. frankly, i never rly gave it a thought in the past. well, one of those rare occasions yes, but it certainly doesn't last long enough to occupy part of my brain's gyri permanently. but then there was a time, when a new couple emerged in my class, i started to feel the pressure. peer pressure. that time, i must admit that i was quite "emo" about it. its like, when you were young in your teenage days, when everyone has a handphone , and you yourself constantly bugs your parents so that u can be like the rest. 别人有的，我也要有.. sadly that was the feeling i was experiencing. stress ar stress ar.. 天啊，为什么我会有这样的想法？is it a sign that i'm finally growing up? finally have the heart to find a girlfriend? as time passes, i realized that this is not the case. the feeling then was the childish thought of i must have what other people are also having. then it crossed my mind.. of what mum used to tell me. 如果你没有那种成熟感，就不要学别人谈恋爱，否则将来你痛苦，对方也痛苦。。actually, what mum said is very true. 爱情不是一种潮流， 它是一种两人之间的承诺.. it is certainly not something to be taken lightly and treated as a game. i understand that now. i will not dread over my peers having their significant other at my current age, because it's not that i can't find her, it's just that i chose to wait till the time is right when i have the proper level of maturity to be ready for a serious relationship. till then, i will be single, and live life to the fullest and cherish the privileges of being single , and available. ahaha!until then, i hope that "she" will wait for me :) so guys, don't ever dread over this sort fo matter, he/she will appear before you when the time is right, and also never jump into a relationship if u don't feel ready for one, or else you're in for alot of trouble . ciaoz ppl. tk care

=_______=

today i'm not doing anything...and apparent 2mr is gonna turn out that way too.. haih..bo bian la..

i'm ok again :D

up and running and good to go~ blocks got postponed for another 2 days, hell yeah! more time to study~ nah, more like procrastinate. ah well, the most important things is, no more depression. credits to mr. tan wei lun for brainwashing me. gamsia gamsia~~ block 3, 我来也~~

some ..well, thoughts~

Lately i've been having some really sudden mood swings.. maybe it's due to pre exam stress or it could be something else. this random thought just crossed my mind today.. i'm surprised how come i never gave it any considerations in the past, and y i have to do it now.. of all times, with exams and all, now? bad timing, really really bad.
i think that i am too simple minded. i can be so naive, and be so trustworthy towards someone that i just "recently" met. i guess i have no right to complain about ppl calling me a little kid, because i think exactly like one. its like, u give me a candy, and i'll think of u as the best person in the world.. get what i mean? i also realized that i tend to give more than what i receive most of the time.. i don't know whether its the way it should work but, i was taught to never expect anything in return for a deed or favor done . but recently i started wondering, for all the things i do for others, even if i don't mind not receiving much compared to what i gave or any at all, do the ppl rly appreciate what you do for them? many people only come to you if they need something for you, its human nature. and this triggered an even deeper question in me that keeps on whispering in my ears into my auditory center.. that is " how many of the many people in your life that you have will stand by you when you really needed a helping hand ? when you're really in need? when you're in trouble? " i couldn't give myself a definite answer. i stumbled then.. a moment there, i was silent and blank.
simply because things happening around me just isn't convincing at all. i don't want to mention any of these sensitive issues over here but yea, simply just ...not convincing at all, not even close.. so many things happened in just one short week.. and it takes just that few things to alter my perceptions towards my social life, which for once in my uni life, i thought of to be the best of both worlds. Reality is a bitch, and she bites hard. its her way of telling me to grow up and life isn't like what you read in fairytales, not all good beginnings lead to happy endings. i still have much much more to learn tho.. at the tender age of 20, i don't think i'm even close to understanding the mysterious workings of life. still have so much to learn.. being optimistic though. even when it seems more like trying to avoid the ugly truth then being the former.. oh and i seriously think i need to stop being so picky, or i'll never find a gf~ LOL

its not about who's right or who's wrong

because the problem can never be solved as long as there is an argument over who's fault it is. the misunderstanding will exacerbate and lead to even more vigorous conflict. it would be easier if we could just admit that we both made a mistake and let it settle once and for all. but then, i don't care anymore. or maybe, i never did..

the evil side of me

everyone has a dark side, and i am no different. constantly am falling towards and losing against this arch nemesis of mine, which just manage to screw up my life when everything was in order. leave me alone can? :((

something wrong with you ar?

well tho there haven't be anyone who asked me this question for a long long time ever since i bid farewell to my unnaturally bizarre emo self.. i'm come to realize certain things about myself. how should i say this.. i am pretty much disgusted of certain negative traits that i sadly possess, especially my tendencies to bear grudge against certain people that somehow just plain annoys me with everything they do. i guess that i owe it all to my horoscope..the thing really does describes me well.. sigh.. but then, it's not to say that i bear grudges to an extreme level like those in the movies..i can forgive, but i won't forget.. and if that particular person does something that crossed my path, boom! apocalypse...i can bring out all the not so nice things they did to me, and can feel myself taken over by anger.. i know its not good , but i just can't help myself.. its like, once someone annoys me, i will never forget that 1st time what he/she did to me. and if i dislike a person, i tend to focus only at their bad points.. it's like what miss tan said before, focusing too much on that black dot on piece of white paper.. mum always taught me to forgive and forget, but sadly i still can't do it. however, its really difficult not getting annoyed by those people, for one does not think before it speaks. utter foolish and idiotic sad to say.. but all in all, i'll try not to judge books by their covers so much.. and try my best to forgive and forget.. it will be a more peaceful world, for me and for them. =) rite back to my sdl~~~ ooooooooooooo microbe...