March : an awesome month! =)

there is a lot for me to praise and be happy about march, of north indian trip and lots of delicious foods being some of the many things thats worth to mention. the north indian trip has really been an eye opener: i've been to 5 places that i've never been to before, with one of them being the prestigious taj mahal , one of the 7 wonders of the modern world~ at least now i'm tied with my family, them having visited the great wall of china XD but the real deal from the trip is, i got to know the group of people that i went on the trip with better . an interesting bunch i must say. wouldn't have been so fun without them =) THE NEXT THING, food! yes food! yummy, scrumptious , expensive, seductive, fattening yet irrrestible food! am utterly spoilt by my parents and sister~ each day they brought me to my restaurant of choice and i gorged down food in a single meal that is nearly comparable to how much i eat for 3 days in manipal. can feel the tummy building up but nahh, i'll lose em eventually. so yeah, getting fat and loving it XD went to medan for a week to visit my dad. i must say i am over prejudice towards the country in the past. i always thought of it to be boring and uninteresting. i guess its coz of my dads previous home in the estate so far away from civilization ~ i don't really know how i managed to live though my months of holidays there during my high sch days. urghh as far i can i tell i'd probably bang the wall in a few days time >< anyway, a week of family time together. priceless~ hope dad takes good care fo himself there . sucks being alone in a faraway land. i know that feeling :(
blocks results are out~ am not happy nor sad with what i got, but with the amount of effort put in, i must say that i have actually got much more than i deserved. hence, grateful :) block 2 has been horrible nonetheless. generally all of us flunked it. this sem there is the horrid unis, ohh the horror. anyway, it will turn out for the better =) i'm sure of it XD but most importantly, i am who i used to be. goodbye to my old emo self, i won't miss you ~ XOXO ciaoz ppl

block 2 finish~~

finally it ends. this is one hell of a bulky block. man totally felt like i was studying for unis .. the tension, the pressure.. arghh.. but its ok..its all over now..we'll see how block 2 results will turn out to be.. but i'm quite positive that this blocks achievement will be like no other. reverting back to my form 5 and A level self, which is entirely a good sign. =) but for now, north india here i come! XD

annoyed and frustrated

today is the last day of lectures. well, technically, we do still have practicals tho. my batch am supposed to go for the pathology practicals 1st, but somehow, well, shit happens. batch A got to go 1st, AGAIN. yes 2 consecutive weeks. pls la, be fair ok? we went for microbe 1st ytd coz u guys went 1st last week. and now you're using the fact that we went for microbe 1st as an excuse ? no fair. to be honest, i'm stated to rly feel bu shuang.

hate and anger?

i must admit that i'm being harassed by these 2 outcasts for the past week. been so long since i had the heart to hate and be angry about something. i guess i am a human being after all. looking up google to find ways of how to manage my emotions. hatred and anger, begone!

how i wish..

that i was more independent. even till now, i'm still very dependent on others for comfort, certain task and to relieve myself off that unpleasant imaginary load felt on my heart manifested by my treacherous limbic system. i dunno but mood swings and depression seems to always have some ties with me, no matter how long i stayed cool away from it. it's bound to come back to haunt me, sooner or later. obviously i'm worry and troubled by this. when i start getting emotional, i lose interest in everything, becoming a zombie that breathes. heck i didn't even wana touch my pharmac sdl just now. but at least the 知死心态 is still strong enough to save me from temptation to flunk my test =X hope all goes well later for the test, tho highly unlikely. ahh screw it

the same problem over and over again. after i did everything that i can, i don't really get the reason that why the fuck did i even give a damn. i'm really sick of giving and not receiving. i'm not mother theresa. i'm not holy to the point that i can disregard my feelings and pretend that they don't matter. i'm human too. i have feelings too. i can get hurt too. maybe you should stop being so self- centered and show some empathy for once in your life. i guess its true that its easy for hurt to revert to hate .guess patience and disappointment has it's limits after all. i was wondering at what level mine was. well not too shabby.cool eh? am proud of myself :) ( the fact that my patience level has improved drastically, and how well i can cope with disappointment XD) .
i felt sorry for myself. the fact that i've been so mean to my own feelings , putting myself through so many mood swings, depression and hard times. and its really all avoidable. i can prevent them from happening again , but there is a voice that keeps telling me that it'll be worth the effort in the end. rite now, i don't think so. fact : it is wrong decision to want to spend a weekly 30 mins bonding time with my bro. yeh who knew that asking ur bro out would be even more difficult than asking a gal out =X . and gosh if this ever happen between me and my future gf, i'd be dead. god bless me for the test later. bye~

dunno leh...

i'm a bit worry.. i'm feeling depressed and insecure all of a sudden. i feel alone and deserted. worthless and insignificant. why is that? not again....zzzz

happy new year people! :D

yes its 2011!
May this new year bring many opportunities to your way,
to explore every joy of life
&
may your resolutions for the days ahead stay firm,
turning all your dreams into reality
and all your efforts into great achievements.
Happy New Year to you & your loved ones.

yes yes all the wishy washies here and there. well, yes, its new year! a new start, a new beginning. well , i gotta say that apart from all the fun i had with elisha, keen wah and a few others, something from the past came back to haunt me. 3 ppl asked me the same question today. and the question was, do you rmb what we did on this very same day last year? when i recalled the past events and as the memories flashes through my mind, i couldn't help but just gave a blank stare . i felt my eyes were a bit wet that time, not sure if its coz of the dust or i'm just tired or anything. but deep down i know y. at the beginning, there was 9 of us, we were happy then. i must say that was one of the best memories i had in manipal. and look at us one year later. everything is different. in just a blink of an eye. everything changed. i know that things will and and go eventually. but i just didn't think it could happen so rapidly. i'm amazed. truly amazed. and yes i'm feeing a little nostalgic. but i believe its time for the feeling to die. even so, i will nv ever forget what 9 of us did together, and the happy times we spent together, despite all the ups and downs , and which path we chose to go on. happy new year peeps. hope that you're life won't turn out to be just as sucky as mine in this sense. ciaoz