i guess it needs time

hopefully thats the case. communicating through msn is no longer a problem, but face to face kind of convo, still....不太理想 :\ but ok lar, at least its improving. really shouldn't be too optimistic, but can't be too pessimistic either. just need to find time for a heart to heart talk, but when?

random

Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself..
By hurting you.


nothing to do wif me, just some lyrics that i find pretty meaningful. most of you should know which song its from (:

i'm lying to myself...

i told myself that i can live with all the changes that come, beat down all the challenges that stand in my way. nothing matters more than my studies. yeh, these are what i used to tell myself. they have never failed me, not at least, till now. i want things to be like they were in the beginning , i've always hoped for it , even though i always denied that i can't live with it. my mind tells me something, but my heart says otherwise. they never click, and i dunno what i can do. despite the fact how strong and bold i act to be, deep down inside, i'm just a weak, emotional ,helpless kid , waiting for a miracle to happen, when my fairy tale will somehow materialise, and return the joy i once had, but lost.

do you know

that feeling that makes your stomach sink,your heart beat so fast it could explode,your eyes wanting to shed tears but you hold them back with all your might?thats what I feel when I lost someone special but it felt like what I had to do :( no point hiding it anymore. he or she will never know

真没用

不知不觉。。。我的眼泪就这样的留下来。。。我到底在执着什么？为什么我一直那么在乎？都已走上绝路了， 为什么我还不放弃？ 唉， 累了累了。。。 鸡蛋糕 :(

感情有很多种

这是 yoke fun 讲的。我觉得我对你的感情只是一个弟弟对哥哥的关怀罢了。就那么简单。 时间久了， 我学会看开很多东西。。也许两个之前要好的朋友缘分已绝， 注定要各走各路。。不过， 要放下一切， 不是一件容易的事。 需要很大的勇气和毅力， 还有一段很长的时间。我现在也不去希望什么了， 不去希望你会原谅或谅解， 或者再次接受我们这段友情。你对我不理不采， 都无所谓,因为这都是我一手造成的。是我的错， 我没资格嫌弃。我现在能做和想做的就是做出补偿，以减轻我心里的内疚感。 或许久了， 我的心会慢慢的死去， 也许，是一件好事。

happiness = reality - expectations

too little too late

after reading jordan's status, i felt that my mistake was that i never really took the effort or action to show yew shiong how much i appreciate what he has done for me before. i wonder y is it so difficult to just say a thank you or a "i'm lucky to have you a friend" kinda thing. the cause? probably pride. sigh..should have done that. and the sulking continues...